Dreamer

So I have decided that I am quite the DREAMER! For those of you that really know me... you know that I am always setting goals and working towards something. Sometimes lets face it... I'm not truly realistic. I day dream about my childhood when a certain smell reminds me of something. Sometimes I get stuck back when life was easy and why does it have to get so tough? Sometimes I dream about becomming a professional dancer. I picture myself on a big gorgeous stage, I feel the bright lights on my powdered face, I look out to the crowd and see the auditorium packed full of people, the theater has 2 balconies, and I am the lead dancer. Everyone is cheering for me as I take my bow, and then I look back to see my backup dancers smiling at me and admiring their own performance. In my dreams I can do 7 pirouettes. I can kick my face off, I can move however I want to, and I can jump higher than anyone else. If only...... but let's face it. In order to become a professional..... I wouldn't be able to have a personal life. I wouldn't be able to be a mom until my career was over, I wouldn't be able to see much of Derek, and not only that but I would probably have to dance with other men all day everyday. That is no life for a strong marriage

So after I get to thinking that I wouldn't be able to be a mom until my 30s, then I begin to dream about being a mom. Not just any ordinary mom.... an AWESOME mom! I stay thin and fit, I'm the cool mom, my kids are perfect and have striking features, and I have the picture perfect family. Not only am I an awesome mom.... all of a sudden I have all these home making skills. I can sew, cook, scrapbook, draw, can food, etc. Well all of a sudden in the middle of my day dream I begin to gag. I realize that this is a disgusting dream because I can't stand those picture perfect families. This realistically is not me at all. In fact, these types of moms make me kind of sick because they are incredibly talented! I am not a homemaker... and I feel as though I'm never going to become the best homemaker. This day dream is NOT me. Having a picture perfect family is fake in every way. I love those down to earth people that make mistakes and admit it. I love the homes I go into where I'm immediately loved and welcome, and they accept me...flaws and all. After I realize that that's the person I am... a down to earth, flawed young lady, I'm ok about my realization that this dream will never fully come true.

After my other 2 dreams have been shot down, I begin to dream about traveling the world. There is nothing wrong with this dream at all!! Ok..... let's face it, I dream big so there are some unrealistic points thrown in. First of all...... I'm a newlywed, my traveling has to wait until we have some more money. Sometimes I dream about Derek and I traveling to 3rd world countries. We help relieve the pain and disaster, and help people struggling. Well this dream is ok... but if I want to help anyone medically I'm going to have to have a degree in something medical, and if I go there to teach..... well by golly I better know what I'm teaching!! Haha but someday really and truly I think this would be awesome to do as a couple. I want to go somewhere with a beautiful gorgeous beach, and I want to take a trip to the eastern states to visit some history sites, not only to do with the founding of the country but also with the church. In my dream we travel to ITALY!!! Once again.... this is my absolute DREAM place to travel to. I have always been drawn to Italy. Not only is their food remarkabely delicious, but the language is beautiful, the country is flawless, and the people are wonderful. Right now I am trying to strike up a deal with Derek. If I learn Italian fluently.... he will take me to Italy. Derek is not down with this bet. I need some sort of strategy to get him to agree on this bet with me! Any ideas?!


Day dreaming helps me to escapse the crap thrown at me. Dreaming helps me to pursue goals and to work towards something (when I'm realistic that is). Dreaming can bring peace and joy to my life. When I hear music I automatically begin dancing whether it's physically or in my head. I am so grateful that I have been blessed with the talent of dance in my life. I can dream up beautiful dances in my head, the challenge is getting it out of my head and choreographing and moving in the same movement that takes place in my dreams. Which all leads me to the reason I began this ambitious post. I have all these dreams, and now the fear of pursuing those dreams kicks in. In my life the debate of what career I should pursue is a toss up between becoming a Physical Therapy Assistant, or a dance teacher. I decided to pursue PTA because it is more stable. In order to pursue this career, Arizona was brought into the picture. I worked at a physical therapy office and enjoyed it quite nicely. School however did not work out. The waiting list to get into the program was 2 years long, and other things brought Derek and I back to Idaho. Here I am stuck in thought whether I should wait a year and apply to the PTA program at ISU, or if I should go to BYU Idaho, get my bachelors in Exercise Science and minor in Dance. I have decided to go to BYUI, however I am still debating whether to apply for the program at ISU next year or not. Right now I feel soo strongly about persuing a career in dance. Now... here comes all my dreams again. I want to use dance as a way of helping other people. I dream of helping alzheimer and dimentia patients. By teaching them dances, it helps these patients with their memorization skills. I want to teach cancer patients and let them feel joy in the pain they are facing. I want to teach suicidal teens who have no confidence. I want them to love themselves and gain confidence within themselves. Dances such as the flamenco are all about confidence and I feel like teaching dances like these to these teens could help them immensely. I want to help people suffering from autism, down syndrome,cystic fibrosis, and ADHD. I want to help them to have a longer attention span and to help get their bodies mobile. Maybe somehow I can combine Physical Therapy and Dance? Or maybe I can just teach dance and help many people along the way. This goal is PERFECTION in my eyes. I have HUGE goals, and this is everything I could ever want out of a goal. Opening up a dance studio is very realistic.... teaching people suffering from all these different types of conditions though? I'm not sure how to approach all of this. Somehow I want to pursue this dream. I want to help others and become the dance teacher and role model that I know I can be.