Just have a few thoughts. This semester has seriously been one of the most challenging times in my life. My classes are soo hard, that's an understatement. I am normally a good student who gets A's and 90's on her tests. This semester is not the case. I am the student that is sitting there saying, "What the heck is he talking about?" It's been a humbling experience, and I look at learning from a completely new perspective. It has been rough, and it has not been pretty, but somehow I'm still floating and passing my classes. I just pray and I can make it to the end.
This semester I have also been pretty hurt from some people. Due to the extra extra stress, it has made me overly sensitive and I have become so hurt and so bitter I was miserable. I finally realized that through the hurt I was feeling, I was becoming someone I didn't enjoy, and the negativity that I was around was really rubbing off on me. Because I have been having such a hard time, it's really hurt my self esteem and I have been beating myself up and believing the things that others around me were saying about me. Yesterday in my religion class we talked about the act of gratitude. President Monson said that the act of ingratitude is a serious sin. This is scary. How many times have we been the lepers who didn't return to thank Jesus Christ for blessing us? How many times in our lives have people done incredible things for us, and we never even thought to thank them?
It is so important that we start now and count our many blessings. Rather than focusing on all of the things we can't do and all of the things we don't have, we must focus on all of the things we DO have and all of the things we CAN do. It's incredible the difference it will make in your life. As women, we tend to compare our weaknesses to others strengths.... or at least I do anyways. We should never ever do this. We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, and we are made this way for a reason. Heavenly Father never gives us something that we can't overcome. Whether it be anxiety, bad grades, family problems, etc, we have the strength to overcome them. If the issue is never taken away such as an illness, we can always learn and grow from it and become a better person in the end. It is all in our perspectives.
We should always remember to compliment those around us rather than bring them down and trying to build yourselves up. Something that I have learned is to always show kindness to those around me, especially to those that are unkind to me, because they obviously need the kindness the most. If someone offends us 7 times, we should not only forgive them 7 times, but 70 times 7. Forgiveness is a continuous process, and it can be very difficult. It is so hard when someone does something so hurtful and so cruel, but we must always remember that it is not our place to judge, and we are taught to forgive.
By showing kindness, gratitude, and forgiveness we too can be forgiven. If we do these things the negativity will be taken away from our hearts and we can feel of the spirit. As hard as these things can be, they are so important. I am trying to live by them each and every day. I challenge everyone to do their best to compliment those around, and when we are feeling pity on ourselves consider service rather than thinking woe is me, nothing good ever happens to me. Turn the m in me upside down to we. Try to put others first and our lives will fall into place.
Sorry for my soap box, but this is something I am struggling with. I remind myself each and every day of the importance of these values, and I have seen a difference in my life when I am living this way, rather than becoming like the rest of the world and having unkind thoughts when someone offends me. I know that it is my choice to become offended, and it is my responsibility to forgive others. I love you guys and I am so grateful for all of my family and friends. You are great examples to me and you all make me a better person.
I hope you are feeling better. If you ever doubt yourself just remember your cute niece saying,"she's beautiful" (Brylee) or you can laugh by thinking of AJ and her super cool trick!
ReplyDeleteSounds like your life is just crazy right now!! I think it is great that you are tackling school - it is a huge sacrifice but it will be worth it. In the meantime, just remember how many people there are that really care about you! You're awesome!
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