Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Sickness For Our Holidays

Sweet Krew on Easter
So ever since Krew has been born, we haven't been able to celebrate a single holiday.  It's been kind of depressing.  When Krew was 11 days old, it was Easter.  What happened on Easter you ask?  Well Derek spent the entire night before puking his guts out.  At 6 am, I finally called his friend to take him to the ER because it was so bad.  Derek kept almost passing out, and I was recovering from having a baby.... so if Derek passed out, I wouldn't be able to lift him off the ground without doing some serious damage to my own body.  So his friend Tyler came and picked him up and took him to the ER.  Our plans of driving an hour to see Derek's sister and brother and having a big dinner and Easter egg hunt were over! We called his brother Raylon to let him know he was in the hospital and we weren't going to be able to make it.  Raylon called me and told me that he would come pick up Levi and take him to Maricopa for the Easter egg hunt and to play with cousins.  What a relief.  I was so upset and distracted I completely forgot to set out Levi's Easter basket and to have our own little mini Easter egg hunt.  When Raylon and Emili were on their way to our house, Derek called and told me that they had to do an MRI on him.  I had no clue what I thought the Dr. needed to look at, and I started googling what could possibly be wrong with Derek.  Bad idea!  Never do that.....  When Raylon and Emili got here, Derek called and told me that he was going to have to stay the night in the hospital.  He had what was called Ileus, which means that part of his intestines were paralyzed, and weren't able to do peristalsis to move the food through his intestines.  I started bawling because I felt so bad that he was sick and in the hospital, and that I wasn't with him.  I had a 1 week old that needed me in order to eat every couple of hours, and I wasn't about to take my kids to the hospital to expose them to all of the awesome germs going around there.  If I was in the hospital the only person I would want would be Derek, and I felt awful that I wasn't there with him.  Raylon and Emili stayed with me that day instead of taking Levi to Maricopa.  They knew I needed help and I'm so grateful they were there to give it to me.
Poor sick Derek
     I called Derek's friend Jared and he and Raylon went and gave Derek a blessing.  Poor Derek couldn't sit up, or hardly open his eyes.  The nausea was so extreme that he couldn't talk, open his eyes or move.  All he could bear to do is just lay in the fetal position.  Derek threw up so hard and for so long, he popped every single blood vessel around both of his eyes.  He had 2 black eyes that were so swollen.  Raylon and Emili were so nice enough to watch Levi and Krew for a couple of hours so I could go spend time with Derek.  I was so grateful for it!  I went and sat by Derek's bed and held his hand.  I tried to distract him by telling jokes, but he couldn't laugh or he felt like he'd throw up.  And he eventually had to close his eyes and stop talking because of the nausea.  So for an hour he laid there with the most pained look on his face while I held his hand and I cried.  Seeing the person you love the most in the hospital and so sick is one of the saddest things in the world.  I had an 11 day old baby at home, I was hormonal, I was overwhelmed, and I wanted my husband healthy and home.  Derek was overwhelmed because he had a huge test in 2 days, and he had lab the next day that he was worried about missing.
Swollen black eyes from puking so hard and popping all the blood vessels around his eyes
         I went home from the hospital and I cried and cried and cried.  Derek's sister Raylene was so sweet and she came up around 9 pm to stay the night with me so I wasn't alone.  She brought 2 of her kids, food, and Easter eggs.  They did a little Easter egg hunt for Levi, and dyed eggs with him.  I cried, I was so grateful they gave Levi the Easter I couldn't.  That night I was shaking and a total mess, so Raylene held Krew and calmed him down when I couldn't.  Raylon, Emili, and Raylene kneeled down with me for family prayer that night.  I held Levi in my arms and I was completely overwhelmed with the fact that these three had been there to help me with my kids and comfort me when I was a mess.  And to visit Derek in the hospital when I wasn't able to because I was home with the kids.
Raylene bringing Levi the Easter egg hunt he didn't get

Levi getting to dye Easter eggs with cousins
       The next morning, Raylene went to see Derek in the hospital and came home and told me he was sitting up and talking more.  We were able to pick him up around noon and bring him home.  Derek was on a liquid diet and took a couple weeks to really recover and gain his strength back.
      Easter was hard. I would look at Facebook and just cry.  Everyone was posting pictures together with family in their cute outfits.  This year I really experienced that it's not about the cute little outfits and candy, but it truly is about Christ suffering and dying for us, so that we can repent and have eternal life.  I thought of Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane, and that he had felt what Derek was experiencing.  This Easter completely humbled me, and I was completely overwhelmed by the fact that Raylene came to spend the night with me so I wasn't alone.  And that Raylon and Emili spent the whole day watching my kids, and helping Derek and I with all that we needed help with.  I got to experience an Easter where I felt the Savior's love more than I ever had.  So although it was awful and I never want to go through it again, it did teach me the value of eternal families.  It helped me to appreciate my little family so much more, and it taught me about the importance of service and being able to accept help when others offer to serve me.  I was shown more love and compassion than I had seen before.  I had friends calling and checking on me throughout the week.  Friends picking up Levi to get him out of the house and help Derek to rest and recover.  Friends bringing me and Levi dinner and broth for Derek.  I have literally never experienced so much love and seen so many Christlike examples.  I will forever be grateful for those who reached out and helped us.

The Ure's amazing Easter dinner they brought over when Derek was in the hospital
         The 4th of July is another story.  We drove an hour and a half to Prescott to go to the carnival, get out of the 100 degree weather, and to watch the fireworks.  Well... once again bowel movements and puking had other plans for us!  Levi ended up getting a horrible stomach ache.  He was constipated for hours crying, and he puked all over everything!  So we packed up our stuff and hiked back to our car.  Krew cried the rest of the way home, and I was covered in puke.... bleh.  I felt awful because our friends Jared and McKenna Ure were with us.  They didn't get to experience the fun 4th of July festivities because of us.  We dropped off Jared and McKenna around 9:20, and sadly the fireworks near our home started at 9, so we missed it.  On our way home we saw some cars parked at the Elementary school by our house so we pulled in and parked.  We got to see the last 10 minutes of the fireworks from a distance in our van.  So while I held Krew in my arms and I looked over at Derek holding Levi in his arms I was overwhelmed with the love I have for my family.  It was a sweet little moment we got to have at the end of a really crappy day.  Levi was done throwing up at this point, and was being so sweet.  Krew was finally content because he was out of the car seat, and Derek reached over and held my hand.  This is what's important to me.  I got to understand the meaning of the 4th of July again.  I got to realize that life doesn't always go according to plans.  But I'm so lucky I have my freedom and I get to live with my family.  I get to go to the church I believe in, I am safe and protected, and I'm lucky enough I'm here to even celebrate the 4th of July. I thought of the men who died for me so that I can live a wonderful life here in America with freedom and choice.  I went through all the millions of things I am grateful for, and it helped me to forget about all the many things I'd missed out on that day.

Outfit number 1 (this shirt is now in the garbage due to the amount of puke on it)
     Well to finish the day, Levi cried when we got home because he still couldn't poop.  We sat him on the toilet to see if that position would help, and he FINALLY pooped!  That poor kid went and laid on the floor completely exhausted and said, "I did it, I did it, I did it.  I pooped." Haha it was so sad but funny.  Our day was completed with the poop that completely destroyed the day haha.
Levi hunched over trying to poop, while crying, followed by some puking shortly after this picture was taken.  Krew crying and wanting nursed 85% of the day. All I could do was laugh and feel completely pathetic and overwhelmed.
       So folks, life isn't smooth sailing.  Life is hard.  There's sickness, pain, loneliness, anxiety, stress, worries, and so many other difficult things we experience.  But through those hard times, we can still see good.  I will say that I have been much more grateful for healthy bodies lately, and I am so grateful to know that people step in and help out of complete love.  People offer help in ways I've never even thought to offer help to others before.  I will also say that we are never completely alone.  The Savior has experienced all the pains and sorrows of the world, so that we could gain eternal life.  If you ever feel completely alone, just know that you aren't.  If you feel that no one knows what you're going through, or that no one would ever understand how you feel, remember to look to Christ.  We are never alone, we can always look to the Savior to help get us through the hard times.  Remember to pray and pray and pray, and we can get through anything.
4th of July outfit number 3

Happy 4th of July from Krew
So although our holidays have been really crummy..... I guess you could say I have a thing or two that I'm grateful for ;)