Derek had two tests this week, and he is stressed out of his mind about his test tomorrow. So having the stomach bug in our home this week was pretty awful timing for Derek. But having Derek gone studying all week has meant that I had the lucky opportunity to deal with two sick kiddos on my own. Derek helped me on Sunday loads and loads. Literally! He probably did 5 loads of laundry. But I spent 3 all nighters rubbing backs, and holding crying kids, and cleaning up puke. It was so sad, and so exhausting.
I haven't seen Derek at all today, and I will only get to see him for about 20 minutes while we eat dinner, and then he's right back out the door to study for his Pharmacology test until about midnight tonight. I am not trying to complain.... but I feel that it's ok for me to have a human moment right? I think it's ok to admit that I miss my husband, that dental school is taking years off of our lives, and that being a mom to a toddler and baby is the most stressful yet rewarding things I've ever done in my life!
Dental school is crazy! It brings so many highs and oh so many lows!! It's aged us, but yet we've grown and learned so so much! I've learned so much independence since Derek has been in dental school. I don't have Derek home and able to help me open up jar lids, and fix broken toys, and help me lift heavy buckets of flour out of the top of the closet. Or in yesterday's case, I didn't have Derek to help me lift the bike and bike trailer off the hanger in the garage.... When I am left to do things... it's not pretty, at all! I look crazy. I grunt, I cry, and sometimes curse words come out of my mouth.... and then it leads to immediate regret and repentance. Being alone so much and raising kids is hard. But I am so so so so so so so lucky! I get to hear all the hilarious things Levi says everyday. I get to hear Krew giggle everyday when I tickle him. I get to pretend to be a pirate every day with Levi. I get to watch Krew squint his eyes and flash a dimple every time he smiles. I get to watch the boys' eyes light up when they learn something new. I have the best job in the entire world, because I get to be with my kids all day everyday. Now sometimes that leads to getting on each other's nerves. It ALWAYS leads to huge messes, but it always always always ends in I love you's and wet slobbery kisses!
Dental school has been hard, but we will always look back at these years with smiles on our faces and the knowledge that, "those were the good days!"